Lately talk of happiness has been everywhere I’ve been looking. I wasn’t looking for a discussion on happiness, but it found me anyway. Podcasts I listen to started interviewing people who study happiness, a book from a friend arrived in my mailbox about happiness, and people I see and talk to all seemed to have one thing on their minds–why are we not as happy as we’d like to be. Discussions ranged from is pleasure and pleasure-seeking a path to happiness, is hard work and suffering for a cause a path to happiness, can money bring happiness, and is happiness an individual or a communal feeling. From my brief foray into the topic, I’d say all the above and more.
So, is finding happiness a pursuit? Are we pursuing happiness? Hunting it down and making it ours, or is it more of a fluctuating state of being? How do we define happiness ourselves, is it what we are really looking for, and does any of this make a difference? You can find articles such as this one which discuss why pursuing happiness isn’t the best idea–Why it’s time to stop pursuing happiness in the Guardian. You can find lists of things that get in the way of happiness like in this HuffPost article 27 Common Things That Prevent Our Happiness. And you can find articles that come right out and ask What Does Happiness Really Mean?
In short, once your basic necessities are covered, extra money generally doesn’t make you any happier. But community and having communal spaces (third place) where you can be sure to see people you know does. Many sources cite these third places as necessary for happier lives, and many state that the decline in third places can be linked to our declining happiness (here in the United States, ranked 23rd on the most happy countries of World Population Review’s Happiest Countries in the World 2024. For more on third places, you can read What Is A Third Place? (and Why You Should Have One), If You Want To Belong Find A Third Place, and The Hidden Barrier to Finding Your Third Place and How To Overcome It.
Happiness is not a place that you find and then stay in or hold onto. Happiness is a state that comes and goes and that you can very much work towards and do things that help you find more happiness in your life. Strategies range from simple (appreciate fully what you are doing in the moment) to long-term and more complex (become more fit or quit an addiction), but there is always something that can be done by you to increase your own happiness. Happiness isn’t something gifted to you by anyone or anything, or anything that doesn’t need constant work. Dr. Laurie Santos (see resources below) has likened our happiness to a leaky tire–you need to add air to it to pump it up, and you will need to keep up that process, but the process is quite simple and effective. I suggest diving into one or more of the resources below to further your studies.
Resources for Happiness
- The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos. Yes, science and happiness go together, and Dr. Laurie has been studying happiness for years. On this podcast you can travel interesting trails with her through the landscape of happiness.
- Real Happiness: A 28 day program to realize the power of meditation by Sharon Salzberg. This workbook includes teachings, guided meditations (accessible by phone scanning), journal prompts, etc. — a veritable workshop in a book.
- Wednesday Meditations with Dr. Rick Hanson. Free weekly talks and meditations with Dr. Rick Hanson, retired psychologist and evolved human (my tagline for him, not his.)
- I virtually “met” Dr. Rick on his son, Forrest’s podcast that he contributes to called Being Well (also highly recommended.)
- Books by Thich Nhat Hanh, zen monk and teacher. I was introduced to Thich Nhat Hanh by a coworker at a coffee shop in Oakland, CA in 1991. She recommended The Sun My Heart, which I couldn’t find at the time. I found Being Peace and then The Miracle of Mindfulness. All highly recommended. This list goes through and helps you find the book for you.
Speaking of ways to increase happiness, there is always an Acupuncture or Tuina massage appointment to start your movement to a happier state. Please sign up today and get started with your happiness project.