Taking care of ourselves often seems more complicated than it should be. Sometimes we can feel quite confident about how to care for others in our lives–children, pets, parents, friends, gardens–and be at a loss when it comes to what we actually need. Perhaps you’ve even cared for others and hoped that someone in your life would care for you in return. Or perhaps you’ve set aside vacation time when you can focus more on self-care and so you push through life to get to those more infrequent breaks. Or perhaps you even feel guilty focusing on your own care when there are so many around you who need more, or can’t do as much as you can. Or perhaps there’s a voice in your head telling you you’re lazy and don’t deserve a rest, that you don’t deserve care yourself.
We can be prone to a lot of different stories around self-care, but the simple fact is that there are certain things we need to do to take care of ourselves and we are in the best position to take care of these needs. It is often about how we are setting priorities for our time, and unfortunately, self-care takes time. Fortunately, we are in control of how we prioritize and use the time we have. There are limitations on how much time is in a day and how much we can do in that time. I want to suggest that you use some of that time to take care of yourself. My suggestion, when time is limited, is to focus on essential needs first and foremost.
We all need sleep. You probably have a good sense of how much sleep you need to feel at your best. I would aim for that number of hours of sleep and make it a priority in your life. Why? Because sleep is one of the most important aspects of our health. When we get the right amount of sleep, our body and mind function as best as they can.
We all need water and nutritious food. Skipping meals, erratically eating, running on empty, force feeding fast food–none of these strategies keeps you going long term. If you don’t know what you should be eating, what diet suits you best, or how to eat nutritiously, start there and figure it out–there are lots of great resources available online, in books, etc. If you do know how and what you should be eating–make it a priority to be sure you have the right food in the house, the time to prepare it, and take time to eat it at a leisurely pace. Like sleep, our bodies prefer regularity when it comes to eating. Don’t make your body guess when and what you’ll feed it next, decrease that stressor and plan ahead.
We all need movement. Our bodies need movement to function and our bodies were made to move. Do yours a favor and be sure to have movement be a part of your day every day. Whether you’re walking and stretching and doing some qi gong now and again or whether you’re going to a gym or a pool or hiking trails or bike paths, be sure that you move often. Generally, it will help you be healthier, feel better, sleep better, and be in a more pleasant mood.
We all have many other needs–social connection, time in nature, play time, meditation, etcetera. Once essential needs are met, there are many other needs you’ll have for your best life. As a start, please watch the testimony in the TedX Talk below to get a good, overall sense of how self-care integrates into a full, and fulfilling life. Second, if you are intrigued by the above image, you can get a much fuller description of what your hierarchy of needs looks like here. And third, no one has the exact same needs as you do–you are a brilliant, beautiful incarnation of Life–so make and take the time to reflect on what needs you have to make your life as healthy and whole as it can be so that you can aim towards fulfilling them.
